Everybody knows that people resist change. Another side of that is that people often remember the first of something as the best. For me, some of those early experiences are the ones I treasure most.

In 1989, one of the first things I learned about was the Lifestyles convention and I decided to go in 1990. I didn't know any swingers, so I sent 100 letters and pictures responding to ads in an attempt to find a date for the convention. It didn't work. Melanie, a woman I had been dating a few years offered to go with me even though she wasn't interested in swinging. We had a good time - even got together with another couple on the last day - not a bad start.

Soon after that, still looking for a woman interested in swinging, I contacted a club owner in Connecticut who told me I might meet people at an upstate New York nudist resort called Phoenix. I went there for a weekend with my friend Pam and we met a couple who invited us to a few parties over the next couple years. We went to some of these and had a good time.

Vivian and I met in 1992 and we went to the Phoenix resort for a few days including New Years 1993. We had a great time. There was a dance on New Years eve and lots of time socializing with the people there. We were not swinging yet. Phoenix was not a swing club, it was a nudist resort that was friendly to swingers - some are and some are not. We had a good time and went there again in the spring with some swinging friends from Rhode Island. There was a group in New Jersey that got to be where we felt most at home.

It's too much to explain here what, over a few years, brought Vivian and me to a divorce and Cindy and me to a marriage. After some difficult times, I am proud to say we are all good friends.

But this is about sex or swinging or something (at least that's what you think) so I'll get on with the story. Cindy and I have been exploring since we first got together. We got together with some individuals and some couples and went to some parties and sometimes we were disappointed and sometimes we were pleased. We're still learning about how it all fits together for us.